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Computer Tips
J
Buy a Pentium 686/300, so you can reboot faster.
J
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2 (especially with the old
Pentium chip).
J
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
J
My software never has bugs; it just develops random features.
J
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
J
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
J
Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put in new ones.
J
The name is Baud... James Baud.
J
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
J
C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
J
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! STAAAY...
J
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name!"
J
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
J
Backups? We don't need no stinking backups.
J
E Pluribus Modem
J
C:\ File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
J
A mainframe: the biggest PC peripheral available.
J*
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
J*
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
J*
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
J*
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
J*
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
J*
Windows: Just another pain in the glass.
J*
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
J*
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
J*
All computers wait at the same speed.
J*
Computer (dfn): A device designed to speed and automate errors.
J*
Press to continue ...Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... Just do
something!!
J*
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
J*
Help! I've modemed and I can't hang up!!
J*
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
J*
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
J*
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
J*
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
J*
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
J*
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
J*
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
J
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
J*
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
J*
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
J*
Hit any user to continue.
J*
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
J*
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
J*
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
J*
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
J*
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (V)omit
J*
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
J*
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.
J*
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing
with inanimate objects.
J*
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be
hard to understand."
J*
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
J*
Relax, it's only ONES and ZEROS!
J*
Will configure ones and zeros for food!
Contributed by: Unknown Contributor
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